


(Does It Worry You To Be Alone?)

by RinHaruismyOTP



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Coming Out, Cute, F/F, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 06:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8738317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinHaruismyOTP/pseuds/RinHaruismyOTP
Summary: She doesn’t want to leave this club: even when not considering Kiyoko it’s the most fun she’s had in years. She doesn’t want her new friends to hate her. Hitoka struggles with her feelings for Kiyoko.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from 'With a Little Help From My Friends' by The Beatles.

Hitoka’s stomach is doing backflips. And then jumps, and spins, and possibly even spiking a volleyball. The type of thing Hinata might describe as _fwoosh_ es and _pow_ s, and it’s an uncomfortable feeling.

Unfortunately, these days such a feeling is unbearably common, but Hitoka is adamant that no one will find out the reason. Not even Hinata, for all his attempts to find out what’s wrong, though it’d be easier to hide if she could stop staring at Kiyoko. She almost feels lucky that society is so set in its ways believing everyone’s straight.

She watches as Noya and Tanaka approach the older girl _again_ , eyes wide and cheeks flushing as she presents them with a rare (and stunning) smile. Hitoka rips her eyes away, blushing herself as she pulls her knees into her chest where she’s sat on the hall’s floor, back to the wall. She shouldn’t feel jealous, she knows objectively, there’s no reason why Kiyoko shouldn’t be smiling at boys who are clearly infatuated by her. But she knows her envy stems more from the boys being able to be so obviously infatuated, whereas her own longing has to be locked away.

Would she be thrown out of the club if they knew? Would they call her disgusting? Her heart pangs and she fights back tears at the thought. She doesn’t want to leave this club: even when not considering Kiyoko it’s the most fun she’s had in years. She doesn’t want her new friends to hate her.

She dreams, sometimes, of Kiyoko. Her smile, her laugh, her gentle and kind personality, her lips, her breasts, her _tongue_ …

Bright red at the memory, she looks back up. Kiyoko is watching her with concern written on her beautiful face, and Hitoka immediately musters up as much of a smile as she can to quell her worries. Kiyoko’s brow relaxes and a smile is sent back to her.

(She’s pretty sure her heart skips a beat.)

Then the hall doors slam open and she jumps, distracted from Kiyoko by the entrance of the overly energetic Hinata, Kageyama trailing behind him.

Hinata pesters her in every free moment during practice, and though she knows he means well she can’t help but want him to stop. When practice ends she leaves quickly to avoid anymore questions.  

“It’s Shimizu, isn’t it?”

Having walked half the way home in a silent daze, the voice startles her and she spins round rapidly. It’s Tsukishima, of all people, who’s followed her.

“Tsukki, what’re you…” His words sink in, and she instantly straightens, panicking. “W-What do you m-mean, w-what about Kiyoko?” she asks, breath quickening.

Tsukishima makes an annoyed sound. “You fancy her, right?” he says, more statement than question.

“I,” Hitoka manages. Tsukishima knows. No one’s supposed to know. Does he hate her? Maybe _everyone_ knows – maybe they _all_ hate her already-

“Hey, calm down, deep breaths,” comes Tsukishima’s voice, making her realise she’s on the edge of a panic attack. She takes a minute or so to calm herself, letting Tsukishima guide him to a nearby bench, before looking up at him. Tsukishima looks hugely awkward, glancing around but not focusing on anything and hands raised slightly as if wondering what to do with them. She laughs at the sight, and he looks back at her.

“You all right?” he asks gruffly, red tinging his cheeks. Hitoka nods hesitantly.

“How did- how did you know I have… _feelings_ for Kiyoko?” she asks quietly.

“You’re not all that subtle,” he says, and Hitoka’s heart thuds.

“So everyone knows,” she states, eyes stinging.

“No.”

“No?”

He sighs and sits on the bench a fair distance away from her. “Nobody else expects that you looking at a girl could be as something more than friendly.” He pauses. “I’m… less blind in that area.”

“Even with your glasses?” she can’t help but say, and he sends her an annoyed look. “Sorry. Do you hate me?”

Tsukishima tuts. “No more than I dislike anyone. I can actually stand you,” he says, and Hitoka feels hope fill her chest.

“You can?”

“Mm.” He looks straight ahead, fixing his eyes on a sign across the street. “You remember Kuroo? From Nekoma?”

“The one with the fringe?”

“He’s my boyfriend.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh.”

Tsukishima looks uncomfortable. “I just… wanted you to know you’re not the only one. God, Tetsurou would be so smug if he was here. He’s always saying I should be _kinder_.” He spits the last word.

“Thank you,” Hitoka whispers, and though now she knows she’s crying, she’s happier than she has been in weeks. Tsukishima doesn’t look alarmed by the tears, and instead just passes her a fresh tissue from his pocket.

It’s almost a month later when, under prodding from Hinata (who she’d told everything soon after her discussion with Tsukishima, and had accepted her with a grin – yes she had cried), she invites Kiyoko out for coffee and receives a small, perfect, soft peck on the lips as they part ways at her gate.  

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is appreciated!!!


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